A New Beginning!

If you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that you Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25


This was a recent devotion for couples that Rob and I read. We've been going through a season of change in our relationship, and God has blessed us beyond measure!!


Few people know the struggles we had early on in our marriage. I was so young. Graduated from High School one month, and married the next. I recently read Denise Jackson's book "It's All About Him", written about her husband, country singer Alan Jackson, and her journey to find a closer relationship with God. I could have written a lot of that book myself!! I saw myself in so much of her: married so young, letting Rob make all the decisions because I had no idea what I was doing, afraid of failure, trying to make myself into what he wanted me to be to make him happy.


I had this dream of Rob being my Knight in shining armor, taking me away to live in my very own castle that he had provided for us to live happily ever after in. My dream mirrored the way I saw my parents marriage, as happy and loving. Meanwhile, Rob had his own ideas of what marriage was like based on what he saw growing up. We never talked about our differences, and I never even thought to consider that he saw things so much different than me, but we both harbored hurt and resentment for the way things were going in our lives.


We also stopped going to Church, which was the biggest mistake we ever made. We now know that God put us together for a reason, and He meant for us to stay together forever. But those first years neither of us thought we would make it, much less be as blessed as we are today!


We eventually got back in Church, gave our lives back to the Lord, and God healed some of the hurts we had faced, and changed both of us. We went on to become very happy in our marriage and deeply in love with each other, something we never thought would happen in those early years.


Through the devotions that we have recently started for couples, we have started talking about past hurts and disappointments and really trying to understand why we did the things we did. It has been the best thing we have ever done. We've had a great marriage for many years now, and I couldn't have thought it would be any better, but these devotions have brought us so much closer, and helped us to realize that we want only the very best for each other, and never want to cause each other such pain again.


It hasn't been easy to talk about past hurts, and we've cried and laughed and scratched our heads at the things we've learned. We've learned things about each other we never knew. We've talked about feelings we never knew the other had (or at least didn't want to know back then). We've vowed to be there for each other no matter what, because we serve an awesome God who cares about our every need, and he knows we need each other more now than ever!! God has shown us through His Word how important it is to lift each other up, hold each other in high esteem, pray for each other and with each other, and keep our eyes focused on Him. He's given us a renewed faith, and scripture confirmation of His plan for our lives, and we want to serve Him with our whole beings.


One thing that had always been a huge source of contention with us was that I am the eternal optimist, while Rob has always been the eternal pessimist. I see the glass half full, he sees the glass half empty. I look for the good, he looks for the bad. We now know that it has a lot to do with how we were raised, and we work to help each other see the middle ground. If it were up to me, we'd have no worries, no money, and life would be an unorganized mess!! If it were up to Rob, we'd never do anything for fear it wouldn't turn out right, we'd never spend a penny for fear of being broke, and life would be soooooo boring!!


Rob says the best thing to happen to us in a long time was buying the trailer at our campground,
and the next best thing was taking Sarah back and forth to school when she was in Staunton.


Both of those things gave us much needed time together as a couple. For years and years Rob worked as much overtime as he could, allowing me to stay home and take care of our precious babies. When he wasn't working at work, he was working on a project at home. We never spent any quality time together without the kids. We went on one trip that I can remember without Sarah & Bobby, and that was a quick weekend at the beach.


Driving back and forth to Staunton, we had our little coffee and doughnut "dates", and driving back and forth to the River gives us time to talk and reconnect and share our dreams and plans with each other. It's been so great!!


We have also come to see the need for continuous planned "together" time. We sometimes get so busy, but we know that we need to take a break from the rat race and recharge together. It's been so fun to plan our "dates". We feel like little high school kids again, and take great joy in embarrassing Sarah and Bobby by holding hands and stealing kisses every chance we get. We consider it "payback" for doing it to us!!!!!


Some couples are really good at this "together" time, but for us, it's been a long time coming, and a great blessing. We have always been together and supportive of each other as a family, but God has shown us how great the "together" time can be for us apart from everybody else. The only problem right now is that we only want to be together, and have a hard time going our separate ways. I guess that's a great problem to have, and we're not complaining!!!!


If you have never done couples devotionals, I'd like to recommend it! The book that has changed our lives is called "The One Year Devotions for Couples" by David & Teresa Ferguson.
It seems like it was written just for us, and you may feel the same way. If you want to see your spouse as God sees them, and connect with them on a level you never thought possible, this is the book for you. I'm sure it will change your life for the better!!


I know this post is long, but I wanted to give you a little understanding as to why I haven't posted much in the recent past, and give God glory for working miracles in our lives. He is the one true and constant hope we have, and the reason we have the freedom to forgive!!


Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you,...forgiving one another just as God in Christ also forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32